Nicole Kidman reveals the reason behind her early morning emotional episodes.

Nicole Kidman has mortality on her mind.

The actress, who won an Oscar recently, is grieving the loss of her mother Janelle, who passed away in September at the age of 84, and her father Anthony, who died in 2014 at the age of 57.

In the GQ Monday interview, the actress confessed that her emotions have been "even more" exposed as she contemplates her future.

The star described her feelings of mortality, connection, and life's unexpectedness more deeply than ever.

""Life is definitely a journey, as I've experienced the loss of parents, raising children, marriage, and all the things that come with becoming a fully sentient human," she admitted."

"As you age, it becomes increasingly clear how difficult life can be, with sleepless nights and emotional turmoil. If you're not avoiding or numbing yourself to these challenges, then you're fully immersed in them, just like me."

After her mother's death, the "Babygirl" actress immediately left the Venice Film Festival and returned to Australia.

During her acceptance speech for Best Actress at the Venice Film Festival, Halina Reijn read a statement on behalf of Kidman, who had flown to Venice only to learn that her mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, had passed away shortly after.

"I am in shock and must attend my family, but this award is for her. She has shaped, guided, and made me. I am deeply grateful to have the opportunity to honor her name through Halina. The intersection of life and art is heart-wrenching, and my heart is shattered."

"… It hits you as you get older how… it’s a wake up at 3 a.m. crying and gasping kind of thing. If you’re in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m in it. Fully in it." — Nicole Kidman

At the time of her father's passing, Kidman was with her daughters, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, who were 4 and 6 years old respectively. The outlet described Kidman as "devastated and crying."

"Kidman stated that one of her children was so small that she couldn't differentiate between reality and acting. The child asked, "Mummy, are you acting now?" The older child responded, "No, mummy, you're not acting now." However, the older child was concerned about the younger child's emotional well-being and asked, "Won't you be sad in the morning?" to ensure that there was no sadness in the household."

To be there for her family, Kidman stated that she had to endure the pain.

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"By pushing through for your children, you are improving as a parent, and this natural progression continues. This is the natural order of things, starting with the parents, followed by the children. If this happens, it is a blessing."

As an actress, "Big Little Lies" star revealed that her mother motivated her to chase her acting aspirations.

Kidman stated in an interview with The Sydney Morning Herald in 2020, as reported by The Hollywood Reporter, that she has been motivated to pursue her career because she wants to please her.

"Kidman stated, "She also carved her own path and wanted her daughters to have the same opportunity to carve their own paths. Mum didn’t necessarily get the career she wanted, but she was determined that her daughters would have equal opportunities.""

""She and my dad gave me my life," she reflected."