Sister's Kids Allegedly Brainwashed by Accused Woman Who Argues for Remaining Childfree

A family therapist told Planet Chronicle Digital that a Reddit user who was accused of "brainwashing" her sister's children by explaining why she opted against having kids did nothing wrong.

"Am I the A--hole for telling my sister's kids the truth about why I never had children?" was the question posed by user "PutSpecial8915" in an Aug. 24 post on the "Am I the A--hole" subreddit.

The woman mentioned in the post is 36 years old and has a younger sister with three children, who are seven, five, and three years old.

"Being childfree by choice has been a contentious issue in my family, with my sister being particularly vocal about her belief that a woman's purpose is to be a mother and how I am missing out on the best part of life," she wrote.

Recently, the woman's sister's oldest child asked her why she had chosen not to have kids, despite her past comments about ignoring such comments "to keep the peace."

PutSpecial8915 stated, "I attempted to provide a vague and courteous response, but they persisted, asserting that their mother had informed them that I would eventually alter my stance because 'everyone does,'"

"She declared that she valued her freedom, career, and personal time, and at that moment, she decided to reveal the truth to her sister's children."

She stated that although some individuals derive joy from parenthood, others find contentment in alternative ways, and it's acceptable not to have children if that brings happiness.

"Everyone's life choices are valid if they lead to happiness and fulfillment."

Her sister overheard part of their conversation and did not approve.

The woman wrote that her sister "erupted in anger at me, claiming that I was attempting to "brainwash" her children and undermine her parenting."

The woman accused me of being selfish for planting doubt in her children's minds about the importance of family and even accused me of glamorizing a lifestyle she feels is empty and meaningless, as she stated in her post.

"She even accused me of ‘glamorizing’ a lifestyle that she feels is empty and meaningless."

The woman shared in her post that her parents sided with her sister's anger over her conversation with her children.

"They advised me to humor the kids or dodge the question, and to apologize to my sister for stirring up unnecessary drama," she stated.

PutSpecial8915 stated, "I believe I acted correctly, and I was truthful, courteous, and presented a fair viewpoint. I am weary of being made to feel that my decisions are inferior or must be concealed to prevent disagreements."

"It's important for kids to understand that not all paths in life lead to having children," she added.

Did I do the right thing by being truthful with my niece and nephews about my decision not to have children, even if it caused a family conflict?

Planet Chronicle Digital reached out to the Reddit writer for comment and updates.

A therapist stated to Planet Chronicle Digital that she believed PutSpecial8915 acted correctly, provided the circumstances were as described by her.

Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, responded truthfully to a question asked of her via email, as she told Planet Chronicle Digital.

Goldberg added that even though her family didn't approve of her response, it was not inappropriate.

"She might consider giving a shorter response like, 'I’m not interested in kids right now,' to keep the peace," she said.

"Ultimately, she has every right to be honest," said a therapist.

Goldberg stated that she has every right to be truthful.

"If her sister and the rest of the family dislike it, they have the option not to ask that question or be near her."

The majority of Reddit users agreed with Goldberg's sentiment that the woman was not the a--hole in the situation, as stated in more than 300 responses to her post.

Another Reddit user responded with "NTA. Your sister has been subtly belittling you to her children for years. This question was only a matter of time."

The user stated that PutSpecial8915 chose not to be passive-aggressive and directly addressed the issue.

Because she is afraid that if her kids are exposed to other points of view, they will develop opinions of their own, your sister couldn't handle it.

In this situation, the woman had limited options.

"What lie was she supposed to tell to maintain her sister's beliefs?" inquired Ok-Cat-4975.