Reddit user's food spat with 'hovering' roommate escalates into 'stupid' conflict.

Reddit users agreed that neither the user nor their roommate was in the wrong after a disagreement over food.

A therapist advised that the conflict could have been resolved with more finesse.

"Am I the A--hole for not cooking food my roommate likes because I don't cook for her?" asked user "Haunting-Athlete-951" on the "Am I the A--hole" subreddit.

Haunting-Athlete-951 stated that he, a 21-year-old man, and his girlfriend, "E," a 20-year-old woman, reside with a roommate, "A," a 31-year-old woman.

"We all contribute equally to our monthly 'house food' budget, but we can still have our own food as long as we communicate to avoid eating someone else's food."

The "house food" that Haunting-Athlete-951 wrote about includes items like pasta in the pantry.

"A few weeks ago, I prepared spaghetti for myself and E using the house's food. It was a simple dish consisting of noodles and a generic brand canned sauce," he stated.

He said that his roommate made a comment about being sad there was no saved pot for her when she saw the dirty one late at work.

"She tried not to let me see, but I could tell she wasn't thrilled."

"She didn't give me a clear answer when I asked if she wanted me to save some spaghetti for her next time I made it. However, I sensed that she wanted me to do it, so I made a mental note to save some for her next time I made spaghetti and moved on."

A few days after, Haunting-Athlete-951 prepared pork chops and shared some with A when she returned from work.

He said, "She accepted, but when she warmed the food in the microwave, she made a face as the smell hit her. She tried to hide it, but I could tell she wasn't happy."

"She ate the food in her room, which is typical of her, so I don't know if she finished it or not."

Since the two incidents, A's behavior towards Haunting-Athlete-951 has become unusual, he stated.

He said that whenever they're in the kitchen together and he's cooking, she's been hovering over his shoulder and giving him advice on how to season his food. He added that he appreciates her helpful suggestions to improve.

He stated that she would give him an attitude whenever he didn't do something the way she wanted or liked.

"It was always subtle and unspoken, until yesterday."

"She gave me an attitude whenever I didn't do something [the way] she wanted or liked."

Haunting-Athlete-951 prepared spaghetti again, allowing individuals to select their desired amount of sauce.

He remarked, "A has witnessed me preparing spaghetti before, but this time she stated that I made it 'the White people way.' I must emphasize that she is also White. She advised me to blend the sauce in, and I informed her that I don't do it that way."

She said she preferred pre-mixed versions, and that might be where I overstepped.

When I cook, I only consider my own preferences and those of my girlfriend, as the food is being made for us, not for her. If she doesn't like it, she can make her own food.

"She got 'huffy' and stormed off after this caused it," wrote Haunting-Athlete-951.

E remarked that my tone sounded angry, even though I wasn't angry, I was just stating a fact. Perhaps there was a way to express it more softly? I'm not sure, he said.

Haunting-Athlete-951 updated his post, stating that he and his roommate resolved their disagreements through a conversation.

"He stated that he appreciated her help in the kitchen, despite her insistence on small tasks like stirring the sauce, which he found unnecessary, as she could do it herself on her own plate. He also mentioned that he was careful with his tone and wording this time around, which he believed helped."

She sighed and apologized for being moody after a long day at work, which she took out on him, he said.

"There is always a better way to communicate than being rude or aggressive."

The therapist said that the man's response was "typical" of someone who feels unappreciated.

Rachel Goldberg, a Los Angeles-based therapist, stated via email to Planet Chronicle Digital that of course, there is always a more effective way to communicate than being impolite or hostile.

Goldberg stated that this is a suitable moment to have a conversation.

"If A is upset about something else and taking it out on the cooking, she needs to communicate that."

There was a division among Reddit users regarding who, if anyone, was at fault in this personal circumstance.

The AITA subreddit allows users to respond to posts and designate the poster as "NTA," "YTA," "NAH," or "ESH."

Rewritten sentence: "You can vote for the responses you find helpful and against the ones you don't."

Although the post was eventually labeled "NAH," meaning no one was at fault, over 900 Reddit users who responded to the post voted that Haunting-Athlete-951 was "NTA" or that everyone was in the wrong.

"It seems like you're all working in a system that doesn't make sense," wrote Reddit user "East_Hospital_2775" in the top upvoted comment.

"If I financially contributed to the food you're cooking, I would want to eat it, too, lol. You guys need to separate everything and cut the drama."

Another user disagreed.

"GlitteryGrace19 wrote on Reddit that it's fair to cook for yourself and your girlfriend based on your preferences."

"It's important to remember that while it's nice to consider your roommate, you don't have to cater to her every need. You can address her comments and hovering calmly, emphasizing mutual respect and communication."

Another user commented that the ESH situation is due to the stupidity of the setup, and they would also be frustrated if someone was poorly cooking the food they purchased, laughing out loud.

Planet Chronicle Digital reached out to the original Reddit poster for additional updates.