Bride anticipates a significant present from friend despite not extending an invitation to the wedding reception on Reddit.

Man claims he's being excluded from wedding reception due to not returning from cruise on time for the ceremony.

Bride anticipates a significant present from friend despite not extending an invitation to the wedding reception on Reddit.
Bride anticipates a significant present from friend despite not extending an invitation to the wedding reception on Reddit.

If a Reddit user is unable to attend a wedding reception due to missing the ceremony, he should not purchase a gift for the bride and may need to reevaluate his friendship with the woman, advised other users.

"Cheap_Commercial_131" posed the question "AITA for not receiving a wedding gift?" on the "Am I the A--hole" subreddit of the website.

The man stated in his post that one of his closest friends is getting married, but he is not allowed to attend the wedding reception.

He wrote, "I'm happy for her, but I'm hurt that I can't attend the wedding reception because I'll be arriving too late due to my European cruise."

He also said that her wedding planner claims I can't attend because there's a chance I'll miss the ceremony.

Bride looking confused.
The bride in the wedding drama (not pictured) told a friend that her wedding planner said he could not attend the reception if he missed the ceremony. (iStock)

The man stated that he had previously financially supported the bride and expected a significant gift from him due to his perceived wealth.

He stated, "Although I believe she closed the door on me without making an exception or putting up a fight to have me there, I will still be traveling from the opposite end of the earth and driving two hours to attend the event, and she disregarded the journey it will take me to get there."

According to Cheap_Commercial_131, the bride said, "You're gonna miss out."

He stated that since she didn't seem to want him there, he didn't feel like he should get her any gift.

Although the man and the woman used to spend a lot of time together, he raised concerns about their friendship because she never introduced him to her family, friends, or anyone else.

Gold present split with man looking confused at computer
The man who shared his story (not pictured) asked others on social media to weigh in on whether he would be wrong about not wanting to buy an expensive gift for the wedding of a friend who banned him from the reception. (iStock)

"I don't think she ever mentioned me to anyone, and we've been close friends for over three years," he said. "The other male in our friend group got to meet all her friends and family and was always mentioned to others, but with me, it was different."

"I think she is embarrassed of me."

He wrote that he believes she is embarrassed of him, which is why she isn't trying to get him to go or allowing him to go.

Although he is friends with the bride, he has only met her husband-to-be once, briefly, for 10 minutes at an airport.

"Every time I visit my family and request to go out for dinner or do something together, she comes up with unconvincing reasons. This only makes the situation worse. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give her a present?"

In an update to the post, Cheap_Commercial_131 wrote that he planned to "stand firm" and wait for the bride to inquire about the wedding gift.

Wedding gift and card
In the post, the Reddit user said he'd previously financially supported the bride and that she expects a "great gift" from him at her wedding. (iStock)

He threatened to push back with a lot of the responses y'all posted saying that she made no effort to allow him there, and why would he get a gift for a wedding he's not invited to, and so on.

"Since I'm curious, I'll wait to see what happens," he wrote.

Planet Chronicle Digital reached out to Cheap_Commercial_131 for further updates.

An etiquette expert advised Planet Chronicle Digital that the bride's excuses were questionable and that the man should reevaluate his connection with her.

Rosalinda Randall, a California-based etiquette expert, stated in an email to Planet Chronicle Digital that most brides share their vision and prioritize their must-haves, treating the wedding planner as a mere service and only occasionally considering their suggestions.

Randall suggested that the man should consider the possibility that his friend is either weak or hiding something.

"It sounds like a monetary deposit to her account or an expensive gift is preferred over his presence."

She said, "I usually prefer the latter; she's concealing you."

Randall stated to Planet Chronicle Digital that she believes the man is being perceived as a "sugar daddy" by the bride rather than a genuine friend.

She indicated that she would rather have a monetary deposit in her account or an expensive gift than his presence.

To maintain their friendship, he should choose a modest gift from their registry and send it with his best wishes, she advised.

Randall has several options for responding to the invitation, including declining without explanation or gift, or stating that he is not attending and adding a note about not expecting a financial return for the support he provided.

Smiling picture of Rosalinda Randall.
Rosalinda Randall, an etiquette expert in California, told Planet Chronicle Digital that the man should not feel obligated to send a nice gift – or any gift at all.  (Rosalinda Randall)

While it is "spiteful," Randall said, it is "not untrue."

The wedding planner or groom may read this, and she'll need to provide an explanation.

Reddit users largely agreed with Randall's sentiment that he should end their friendship because he is not wrong for not wanting to send a gift.

Reddit user "Comfortable-Sea-2454" stated in the top-rated comment that she is not your friend and the wedding planner excuse was nonsense.

"If she wanted you to attend the celebrations, you would have been able to go to any part of it," the user stated.

The Reddit app logo.
Reddit users were nearly unanimous in saying that the man should not send a nice gift for the wedding – and that the bride was not really his friend.  (iStock)

Others concurred.

"Don't waste your time and money by attending this wedding. This person is not your friend. Wedding planners cater to the bride's wishes, not the other way around," RMaua commented.

"000-Hotaru_Tomoe" stated that you were used with the intention of receiving an expensive gift.

"Spending time and money with better people and utilizing better methods may be more advantageous."

by Christine Rousselle

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