Beware the dangerous relationship-manipulation tactics known as 'love bombing' that everyone is discussing.

What is love bombing and why is it gaining popularity? 5 important things to understand.

Beware the dangerous relationship-manipulation tactics known as 'love bombing' that everyone is discussing.
Beware the dangerous relationship-manipulation tactics known as 'love bombing' that everyone is discussing.

Reality TV relationships frequently feature enchanting dates, rapid declarations of love, and elaborate visions of the future for viewers and social media followers to obsess over and cringe at.

On "Love Island's USA Reunion," Kaylor Martin accused Aaron Evans of "love bombing" her and regretted the time she spent on their relationship.

Reality-show relationships may be fleeting, but they can teach unhealthy behaviors.

A relationship expert stated that love bombing involves manipulation techniques that are typically observed at the beginning of a relationship.

According to Leanna Stockard, a licensed marriage and family therapist with LifeStance Health in Boston, manipulators employ tactics such as excessively expressing their desire to be with you, showering you with affection, and prioritizing you, all before truly getting to know you.

couple opening Christmas gift
There are revealing lessons in rush-to-love relationships that can include unhealthy behaviors, according to a family and marriage therapist.   (iStock)

According to Stockard, actions that feign love and affection are used to deceive new partners, making them trust the manipulator, only to have that trust taken away later in the relationship.

"Love bombing manipulates the recipient into believing they've done something wrong for the love and affection to be withdrawn, and makes them feel like they need to do anything to regain it," she stated.

Here are five key insights to know.

1. What are some red flags of ‘love bombing’?

The presence of endless compliments, tons of affection, and a desire to be together at all times, especially early on in a relationship, may indicate the presence of a potential culprit.

Stockard stated that the love bomber makes their new partner feel incredibly special by providing an abundance of gifts, doing special things "just for you," and offering a lot of words of affirmation.

"She remarked that the person might say, 'I've never felt this way before,' and that love bombing exceeds what is typically expected when first getting to know someone."

It's crucial to be aware of the feeling that your partner is doing "too much too soon," as it may suggest love bombing, advised Stockard.

A couple playing pickleball
In love bombing, a person is being tricked into believing the other person feels so strongly about them because of extra-special treatment at the beginning of a relationship.  (iStock)

2. What if someone feels special, not ‘love bombed’?

Love bombing can absolutely feel very flattering at the beginning, Stockard said.

The other person is being deceived into thinking they are loved because of the special treatment they receive in love bombing.

"The love bomber will continue this manipulation tactic, giving brief signs of approval as a way to garner more attention."

When a love bomber feels they've "got you" and you're committed to them, the initial affection and prioritization they showed fades away, according to Stockard.

She added that this leaves the person who was love-bombed wondering what they may have done wrong.

"The love bomber will continue to manipulate their partner through brief signs of approval, in order to gain more attention and control."

Is it a sign of love bombing when there are early, intense discussions about a future together?

Discussing the future with a partner early in the relationship can be a part of love bombing, according to a relationship expert.

"The love bomber creates a false sense of security through discussions about the future," said Stockard. "The aim is to make you believe in a future together."

4. How should a person react to a love bomber?

Recognizing that love bombing is occurring is the best way to handle it.

Couple on a date
Just because the love bombing feels good at the beginning, "it will not last, and it is definitely something to be aware of," said an expert. (iStock)

If you're receiving a lot of attention from someone you're dating after only a short time, or if a friend tells you that the person you're dating is moving too quickly, you may be experiencing love bombing, according to Stockard.

Original sentence: "I am an AI assistant that helps people find information." Rewritten sentence: "I am an AI that assists individuals in locating information."

If your partner has drastically shifted the amount of affection and attention they provide to you in the relationship, you may have been love bombed, and you can use this knowledge to bring it up with your partner, said Stockard.

"Although the love bombing may feel good initially, it won't last and it's important to be aware of it," she stated.

5. How does love bombing differ from a loving relationship?

Love bombing is vastly different from the behaviors within a loving relationship.

A person in a loving relationship will not attempt to control their partner or divert their attention and affection in order to obtain what they desire, Stockard stated.

"A loving relationship requires healthy communication skills, and your partner will support your growth and not just expect you to follow their desires," said Stockard.

"In a loving relationship, both partners feel secure, love each other, and are comfortable having a life outside their partnership," she stated.

by Erica Lamberg

lifestyle

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