Are sleepovers still popular? Why some parents prefer 'sleepunders' or 'lateovers' for their children.

Some parents worry about the safety of their children due to the presence of guns in other households.

Are sleepovers still popular? Why some parents prefer 'sleepunders' or 'lateovers' for their children.
Are sleepovers still popular? Why some parents prefer 'sleepunders' or 'lateovers' for their children.

Some parents in the U.S. are opting to let their young children spend the night at a friend's home instead of allowing them to pack an overnight bag.

Parents are opting for "sleepunder" or "lateover," where they pick up their children before it's time to go to bed.

Two psychologists and a parent were interviewed by Planet Chronicle Digital to gain insight into why some parents prefer their children to sleep in their own beds.

According to Erica Komisar, a New York-based psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author, sleepunders or lateovers are particularly beneficial for younger children, those with separation anxiety, or those who are sensitive to sleep or transition issues.

It's not about overprotective parents, but rather being attuned to the unique requirements of each child.

Parent and daughter talking
"Some kids can do sleepovers without any hesitation, while others are less comfortable with changing their routine," said one psychoanalyst.  (iStock)

While some children can easily do sleepovers without any hesitation, others may struggle to change their routine.

A psychotherapist at LifeStance Health in Beechwood, Ohio, advised that the trend of quasi-sleepovers is a suitable compromise for parents who are concerned about their children spending the night at other people's homes, according to Planet Chronicle Digital.

Here are more details.

What's causing today's parental uneasiness about sleepovers?

Leanza expressed concerns about the potential harm that children may experience while staying overnight at someone else's house.

Her fears about guns in the home and the possibility of sexual abuse made her paranoid and uneasy about letting her child spend the night elsewhere.

Neha J., a resident of New York, has a 9-year-old daughter. She and her spouse strictly prohibit sleepovers.

My husband and I have grown up with the same thing, and we're not comfortable with our daughter going for sleepovers, she said.

Parent talking to teen daughter
"Some kids may prefer to sleep in their own beds, so they don’t mind being picked up without spending the night," said one parenting expert.  (iStock)

The inventor of a puzzle game for youngsters, who is also the mom, stated that the couple usually picks up their daughter at 11 p.m.

""So she can feel like she is getting a sleepover without actually spending the night, the host family will allow us to come get her," she added."

What's the impact on kids of ‘sleepunders’?

According to Leanza, the experience of being picked up late in the evening can be positive or negative depending on the individual child.

She stated that some children might prefer sleeping in their own beds and therefore, they wouldn't mind being picked up without spending the night.

"Alternatively, some individuals might feel embarrassed due to not being permitted to stay overnight and differing from their peers."

"It's not a matter of trust in her, but rather a decision we've made based on our comfort level."

Neha J. shared that there has been pushback at times from her daughter.

"While she's grown older, this arrangement sometimes disappoints her," she said. "We explain to her that, as parents, we feel more comfortable having her at home for the night, especially when we aren't well-acquainted with the other child's family."

parents and kids serving pasta
Parents who are uncomfortable with sleepovers might start by allowing their kids to sleep over at the homes of people they know well and trust, said one expert.  (iStock)

She stated, "Our decision is not about trusting her, but rather our own comfort level."

The mom stated that ensuring her daughter's safety was a primary reason for picking her up before bedtime.

"By bringing her home, we minimize the chance of harm or discomfort that might occur in an unfamiliar environment while children are most vulnerable during sleep," she stated.

"My advice would be for parents to be cautious but not overprotective."

Experts suggest that "sleepunders" could serve as a preliminary test for actual sleepovers.

Leanza with LifeStance Health advised that parents could begin by permitting their children to spend the night at the homes of individuals they are familiar with and trustworthy.

"This can serve as a trial run for both the child and the parent, as it may involve close relatives or the homes of other loved ones."

It is crucial for parents to discuss potential safety concerns with the other parent before allowing their child to sleep over at a friend or classmate's home, advised Leanza.

She advised parents to be cautious without being overprotective.

"Balancing protection and freedom is key when it comes to our children."

For more Lifestyle articles, visit planetchronicle.net/lifestyle.

by Erica Lamberg

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