A Reddit user faces challenges after being confronted by their stepfather about being 'father-of-the-bride'.

The distraught woman was reassured by Reddit users that it was her right to limit "father of the bride" duties to her biological father and not her stepfather.

"Am I the A--hole for not giving the role of father of the bride to both my dad and stepdad?" was the question posed by Reddit user "Mindless_Diet_5123" on Aug. 19, 2024, in a post on the "Am I the A--hole" (AITA) advice forum.

The youngest of four siblings, the writer is a 27-year-old woman.

""I was a newborn when my parents divorced, along with my siblings (32m, 30f, 29m)," she wrote."

The woman said that her mother married her stepfather when she was only 5 years old, despite her father never remarrying.

Despite having equal custody, the woman wrote that she and her siblings were closer to their father than their mother or stepfather because he was "more of a nurturer and we had a closer relationship with him."

Although we still loved Mom, our feelings towards her had changed, Mindless_Diet_5123 admitted, confessing that there were moments of jealousy and resentment towards her stepfather.

"Though I understand as an adult, I believe it's best for kids to have good biological parents and not rely on a stepparent to fill a missing role, even if they loved us like their own," she stated.

"It's less trauma for the kids."

During her father's recovery from an accident when Mindless_Diet_5123 was 10, she and her siblings were unable to live with him.

She stated that during that year, her stepdad made an effort to assume the role of 'only dad.'

"At the time, he and Mom had already welcomed a child together, but he prioritized my siblings and me. He was kind to us, and I expressed my gratitude to him recently for not holding a grudge against us for being present all the time."

"During that year, my stepdad really did try to fill the role of 'only dad.'"

Resented" was the response of her stepfather when she said, "None of us saw him as more of a dad afterward.

"As her siblings grew up and went to college, Dad became more angry and resentful of my stepdad because he was their primary contact. I also decided to live with Dad full-time at that time," she wrote.

Mindless_Diet_5123 stated that she was the last of her siblings to get married and that her sister had Dad as the only father of the bride for her wedding, and she intended to do the same.

"My stepdad was silent about my sister's wedding, but he has now spoken out and expressed his confusion about why I didn't involve both of them. He stated that he played an equal role in raising us and was the only father figure we had for a year."

Since Mindless_Diet_5123's mother noted that her daughter was young when her stepfather entered her life, it made no sense to view him as a less significant father figure.

"Even if I asked now, my stepdad wouldn't recognize my choice with the same sincerity, he said."

She requested the opinions of other platform users regarding her decision.

The AITA subreddit allows users to respond to posts and designate the poster as "NTA," "YTA," "NAH," or "ESH."

Rewritten sentence: "You can vote for the responses you find helpful and against the ones you don't."

Over 100 comments were left in support of Mindless_Diet_5123's decision to have only her father play a role at her wedding.

"NotCreativeAtAll16" expressed their frustration with entitled parents in blended families who believe that a brief action grants them the full rights and privileges of being the actual parent, as stated in a highly upvoted reply on Reddit.

The woman's stepfather may have wanted to be treated as a dad, but he arrived when she was five years old. The others were older, and she lived with him and her mother for a year. Despite this, she never felt like he was anything more than her stepdad who married her mother. It is important for them to let this go.

Another user identified himself as a stepfather and sided with the Reddit writer.

"I understand the situation. I am a stepdad myself and my stepkids are preteens. I hope they see me as a supportive parental figure in their lives. My only wish is for them to be happy and to thrive. If they feel closer to their bio dad than to me, I would be understanding and happy for them," cascadia1979 said.

The woman's stepfather should be happy for her on her wedding day. If he feels any disappointment at not being asked to walk her down the aisle, he should either keep it to himself or share it only with her mother with instructions not to share it with her.

Stepparents and divorced parents should never pressure their children to choose between them.

A relationship expert concurred with Mindless_Diet_5123's decision and shared the sentiment that the stepfather should act more maturely, as reported by Planet Chronicle Digital.

Nicole Moore, a California-based relationship expert and certified life coach, stated in an email to Planet Chronicle Digital that the original poster should not be pressured into giving the father-of-the-bride role to her stepfather in this situation.

"She shouldn't be guilted into giving that spot to her stepfather."

As her stepfather played a significant role in her upbringing, I suggest that she recognize him at the wedding.

Moore stated that the Reddit poster is not obligated to do anything.

"A good parent must prioritize the well-being of their children, even if it means suppressing their own emotions, as the stepfather must do with his jealousy and anger," she stated.

Moore stated that the stepfather believes he deserves the role of father-of-the-bride, but this does not necessarily mean he is qualified for it. In this scenario, he is transferring his own suffering onto his stepdaughter, rather than allowing the day to focus on her.

Planet Chronicle Digital reached out to Mindless_Diet_5123 for additional comments and updates.