Experts offer advice on preventing caregiving burnout when caring for an aging parent.

Caregiving for both elderly parents and children can be exhausting for members of the "sandwich generation."

Experts told Planet Chronicle Digital that caring for a parent with dementia while also managing kids and social and work relationships can be challenging both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

It can be especially difficult dealing with the role reversal, experts say.

Dr. Nancy Frye, a professor of psychology at Long Island University Post Campus in Brookville, New York, stated to Planet Chronicle Digital that a parent's role is to be looked up to, respected, and listened to.

As a parent experiences cognitive decline, there is uncertainty about how to transition from traditional parent-child roles, she stated, with no established norms or guidelines.

Frye stated that people have lived their lives by looking up to their parents, seeking their advice, and respecting their privacy and autonomy.

"Currently, they are exploring their parents' personal matters and questioning when it's appropriate to take charge of their own choices."

Stress of the ‘sandwich generation’

Those who care for multiple generations, including parents and children, experienced significantly higher levels of personal burnout compared to those who only care for children, according to a 2023 study in the International Journal of Aging & Human Development.

A middle-aged caregiver from Long Island, New York, who requested anonymity, revealed to Planet Chronicle Digital that she struggles to find time for self-care, including showers, while caring for her mother with dementia.

She asked how to find time for a walk or coffee with friends while being concerned about her fear that she might wander or fall.

Experts advised that to prevent caregiver exhaustion when caring for a parent with dementia, it is crucial to take time for yourself.

"Taking care of someone with dementia can be stressful, but it's important to prioritize self-care. It's okay to take a break."

Caregivers should not hesitate to seek help from others, advised Dr. Marc L. Gordon, chief of neurology at Zucker Hillside Hospital Northwell Health on Long Island, New York.

"Taking breaks and seeking assistance are crucial."

He stated, "As instructed on an airplane in case of emergency, it's crucial to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others."

"How can I find time to go for a walk or coffee with friends when I am afraid she will wander or fall?"

Trualta's certified dementia practitioner and licensed nursing home administrator, Darci Henry, stated that caregivers experience a range of emotions, which are all valid.

Henry stressed to Planet Chronicle Digital the significance of assigning tasks to family members and outsourcing responsibilities.

Utilizing community resources, such as meal prep, grocery delivery, and laundry services, can be a helpful way to manage daily tasks.

Obtaining additional support is crucial for your own survival, as Henry stated.

"Self-care is not selfish; it's essential."

Henry proposed the idea of taking "micro moments" even for those who cannot leave their homes.

She suggested that it could be something as small as taking a few deep breaths, doing some stretching, standing outside on your porch, or just enjoying a cup of coffee.

Henry advises carving out time for family relationships and daily check-ins with spouses or partners.

Going for a walk after dinner, having regular family meetings, and discussing the division of responsibilities are all important for maintaining a healthy family dynamic.

Navigating difficult discussions

Henry stated that if there are family issues, they will surface during caregiving.

If the strain of caregiving is damaging the relationship, it's important to seek professional help, she advised.

"Numerous households have an outsider facilitate their conference calls."

An outside perspective can offer a fresh perspective and ensure that all voices are heard, as Henry pointed out.

She emphasized the importance of respect and understanding limitations and expectations while communicating.

Knowledge is power when it comes to discussing grandparents' conditions with children, as Henry stated.

"Educating teenagers or young adults about a situation may increase their empathy towards it."

"If there are underlying issues in the family, you’re definitely going to see them come up once the caregiving role starts."

To manage the mood swings that come with dementia, Henry recommended sticking to a routine and finding ways to avoid triggers that lead to certain behaviors.

Understanding the difficulties that person is facing is crucial, as it will help you realize they're not intentionally giving you trouble, but rather struggling themselves, according to Henry.

‘One day at a time’

Frye recommended adopting a "one-day-at-a-time" approach, she said.

She stated that it is tempting to assume a parent's actions, whether positive or negative, reflect their future behavior.

Frye advised focusing on a parent's good or bad hour or day, rather than their quick improvement or decline.

As long as it's safe, continuing to give a parent as much say and autonomy as possible can be helpful, she added.

In a study conducted by Ellen Langer, elderly individuals in a nursing home were given a plant and instructed to either take care of it themselves or have the staff do it.

"People who tended to their own plants lived longer."

There are approximately 53 million caregivers in the U.S. as of 2020.

The number of cases of diabetes in the US increased from 43.5 million in 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

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