Hamas hostage describes harrowing experience: "They reveled in inflicting pain on me"

The article contains graphic and disturbing accounts of the Oct. 7 massacre in Israel.

"When I was taken hostage by this ruthless terror group, my previously simple and quiet life was shattered."

On Wednesday, Amit Soussana, the first Israeli woman to publicly discuss the sexual violence she experienced during her 55 days in captivity in Gaza after being abducted by Hamas terrorists on Oct. 7, spoke before the United Nations (U.N.) at an event commemorating the 15th anniversary of the mandate on sexual violence in conflicts.

Soussana recounted her life prior to the Hamas attack, detailing, "I was an attorney in a cherished office, resided in a modest house in the kibbutz, and my primary preoccupation, like most individuals, was selecting what to eat for dinner." She underscored her dedication to confidentiality, stating, "I maintained a low profile on social media and valued my privacy greatly. My privacy remains a top priority for me."

In November 2023, Soussana was kidnapped from her home in Kibbutz Kfar Aza by a group of at least 10 men and taken to Gaza, where she endured harrowing ordeals. She was freed as part of the first and only hostage exchange with Hamas.

She narrated the day of her abduction, recalling the tranquil Saturday morning that was the Jewish holiday, "Simchat Torah," precisely one year ago, which coincided with the same holiday in Israel on Thursday.

Soussana was in her safe room when she heard the sound of thousands of missiles launching from Gaza, followed by the terrifying approach of gunfire. Her body trembled from fear until a hand grenade exploded in her living room. She recalled her home being invaded by heavily armed men in civilian clothing, detailing her shock and vulnerability.

She was beaten severely while being dragged from her burning house to the Gaza border in her pajamas and barefoot.

She stated, "It seemed like they were enjoying causing me pain," despite the imminent danger. Despite the fear of losing her life, she resisted, saying, "I was more afraid for my body and soul than my life. So I fought back." As a result, she sustained severe injuries, including a fractured eye socket and a knee injury that continues to affect her.

Soussana was chained by her ankle during her captivity and was unable to move. She had to ask for permission to use the bathroom and was sexually assaulted by the Hamas terrorist who guarded her. She described the assault, saying that he forced her to go to the shower and entered the room, pointing his gun at her. He was breathing heavily and had a monstrous beast-like face. She recalled his intrusive questioning while he sat next to her in his underwear, lifting her shirt and touching her. Despite knowing what he was planning to do, she was helpless and unable to prevent it.

Following the assault, she observed, "I was not permitted to grieve or feel upset. I lacked support and was obligated to behave amicably towards the individual who had just sexually violated me." She added, "Each day, I reflect on the horrific actions of that man, but I reassure myself that I am now liberated and that he can no longer harm me."

She was transferred to a new location with different guards a few days later. Despite being terrified, she felt fortunate that she wasn't with the man who had sexually violated her. However, she faced further torment, including being tortured, hung upside down, beaten, humiliated, and feared for her life. Eventually, she was taken into an underground tunnel, where she felt as though she was "buried alive" and subjected to inhumane conditions.

Although she was finally freed after 55 days of captivity, the sense of freedom she felt was tainted by the plight of those who remained imprisoned. "I cannot truly feel free while others are still suffering," she said, emphasizing the commitment she and other hostages made to fight for each other's release. "Today, I honor that promise by sharing my story," she added.

Soussana ended her speech with a passionate appeal to the U.N. "Please act now to free those still held captive," she implored. "Each day that passes takes away another piece of their humanity and puts their lives at risk." She urged the U.N. not to ignore the atrocities committed against innocent civilians. "It is your duty to uphold human rights, combat terrorism, and bring those responsible for these horrific crimes to justice," she emphasized.

She emphasized her demand for the U.N. Security Council to fulfill its responsibility. "The world is observing, anticipating your move. I implore you, do not disappoint us. Release the prisoners and prevent any further harm. It is our shared responsibility to combat terrorism and uphold human rights. The moment to act is now."

Israel's Ambassador to the U.N. Danny Danon stated that the country will not cease its efforts until all 101 of its hostages are released by Hamas at the event.

Soussana was thanked by Danon for her bravery in sharing her story with the world and exposing the true nature of Hamas. It is crucial to remember that the IDF's long arm will eventually reach every member of Hamas and eliminate them.

In March, five months after the massacre, the U.N. published a report stating that rape and gang rape, among other acts of sexual violence, likely occurred during the Oct. 7 Hamas attack. The report also acknowledged that there was "clear and convincing" evidence that hostages were raped while being held in Gaza, and that those currently held captive are still facing such abuse. Soussana was one of the witnesses in the report.

Among the 101 hostages still held in Gaza are women and children.